Australia Kneels: Week 6 – Day 5

Enter In And Receive God’s Presence & Healing More Deeply In And Through Intercessory Prayer ?

The Garden Catalogue For Today

 

Jesus’ final Ascension to His Father – to be seated at the right hand of His throne – happened in many stages.

Let us pray on Ascension Day, this 40th day after Jesus’ Resurrection from the dead, for God to give us His fresh revelation of why it is so important that Jesus did not stay living on earth in His resurrected body.

We ask, Lord show us the importance of your final Ascension we pray.  Give us Your heart understanding of Your priorities, and the process of Your establishing Your Kingdom on earth as it is in Heaven in our day. May we heed Your final words, when You released Your final Commission for us to go out to Preach the Gospel of the Kingdom of God.

Acts 1:2-11 has Jesus’ final calling and instructions for His apostles on the Mnt of Olives before His final Ascension into Heaven.

until the day in which He was taken up, after He through the Holy Spirit had given commandments to the apostles whom He had chosen, to whom He also presented Himself alive after His suffering by many infallible proofs, being seen by them during forty days and speaking of the things pertaining to the kingdom of God.

The Holy Spirit Promised

And being assembled together with them, He commanded them not to depart from Jerusalem, but to wait for the Promise of the Father, “which,” He said, “you have heard from Me; for John truly baptized with water, but you shall be baptized with the Holy Spirit not many days from now.” Therefore, when they had come together, they asked Him, saying, “Lord, will You at this time restore the kingdom to Israel?” And He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or seasons which the Father has put in His own authority. But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”

Jesus Ascends to Heaven

Now when He had spoken these things, while they watched, He was taken up, and a cloud received Him out of their sight. 10 And while they looked steadfastly toward heaven as He went up, behold, two men stood by them in white apparel, 11 who also said, “Men of Galilee, why do you stand gazing up into heaven? This same Jesus, who was taken up from you into heaven, will so come in like manner as you saw Him go into heaven.”

We might ask…what happened at Jesus’ Ascension?

The revelation Paul the Apostle saw and wrote of in Phil 2: 5-11   and the writer of Hebrews 12:2

The Humbled and Exalted Christ

Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, 11 and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

The Ascension explained:

Jesus’ absence and Jesus’ enthronement at the Father’s right hand – EXALTED on His Throne in Heaven

Here He continues His High Priest’s role and intercession for us, also as the Mediator of the New Covenant

From here, Jesus is preparing His conquest and soon return as the King of Kings and Lord of Lords

What lead up to Jesus’ Ascension?

In Jn 6:55-70, Jesus had already spoken to many followers that He would ascend back to heaven, to His Father, from where He had come. He also spoke of His going ahead of them to His Father and how He is The Way of Life. Most did not understand and left Him.

55 For My flesh is food indeed, and My blood is drink indeed.

56 He who eats My flesh and drinks My blood abides in Me, and I in him.

57 As the living Father sent Me, and I live because of the Father, so he who feeds on Me will live because of Me.

58 This is the bread which came down from heaven–not as your fathers ate the manna and are dead. He who eats this bread will live forever.”

59 These things He said in the synagogue as He taught in Capernaum.

60 Therefore many of His disciples, when they heard this, said, “This is a hard saying; who can understand it?”

61 When Jesus knew in Himself that His disciples complained about this, He said to them, “Does this offend you?

62 What then if you should see the Son of Man ascend where He was before?

63 It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing. The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life.

64 But there are some of you who do not believe.” For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were who did not believe, and who would betray Him.

65 And He said, “Therefore I have said to you that no one can come to Me unless it has been granted to him by My Father.”

66 From that time many of His disciples went back and walked with Him no more.

67 Then Jesus said to the twelve, “Do you also want to go away?”

68 But Simon Peter answered Him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.

69 Also we have come to believe and know that You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”

70 Jesus answered them, “Did I not choose you, the twelve, and one of you is a devil?”

In Jn 20:17-18 after Jesus’ Resurrection, Jesus said to her, “Do not cling to Me, for I have not yet ascended to My Father; but go to My brethren and say to them, ‘I am ascending to My Father and your Father, and to My God and your God. ‘ ” 18 Mary Magdalene came and told the disciples that she had seen the Lord, and that He had spoken these things to her. Jesus Later came into the room where they were hiding and revealed Himself to His disciples.

Mary Magdelaine was weeping and grieving Jesus death at the cross, looking for His body to lay out at the tomb. But the tomb was empty, Jesus Christ had risen as the Resurrected Messiah on the third day, the first day after the Sabath in the week of God’s Feast of the Passover. Jesus met Mary in the Garden and called her name, and she recognized Him and wanted to cling to Him in her joy. But Jesus in His role as High Priest had to ascend to His Father to take His offering of His precious shed Blood up into Heaven. He ascended there to fulfil the Feast of First Fruits. When He waved His Blood as the second Adam, in His risen New Creation life body standing before His Father, He and His Blood were accepted. That was His substitutionary sacrifice to fulfill the feast of first Fruits. He had fulfilled the necessary pure sinless sacrifice as the Passover Lamb in place of all humanity as ‘The Gate’ for believers to enter in.

Jesus was accepted. So, He made the way for all who believe in Him and have been Born Again into His Life of the Holy Spirit, to be accepted in the Beloved with Him, to come home to the Father through Him, to be reconciled with His Father. Jesus and the Father’s forgiveness of our sins, through the ransom price paid of the Blood of Jesus, ratified  the New Covenant and released the fulfilment of its promises. These strategic steps of His early and heavenly ministry had to be fulfilled before His Ascension into heaven to make the way for us to join Him seated at the right hand of the Father, (Eph 2:6) seated on the throne in His authority to legislate with Him for His Kingdom coming on earth  as in Heaven.

10 Days of Prayer leading up to Pentecost for the Jewish Nation – Starting today

10 Days Pentecost is kicking off this Thursday, May 9-19th around the globe. We’ve received reports of hundreds of locations that are joining in prayer during these days. We’ll also be kicking off a USA Summit and Africa Summit on Thursday as well.

As in past years, there is a 24/7 online virtual expression (Registration) for 10 Days Pentecost. We are partnering with 2BC (2 Billion Children) to cover 24 hours of prayer.

Click Here for more information

Praying for Israel and the Jewish People

This year, on Pentecost Sunday (May 19th), millions of believers around the world will be joining in a Global Day of Prayer for the Jewish World. During 10 Days Pentecost (May 9-19), hundreds of locations are joining in 10 Days of Prayer for the Middle East and Israel.

On this occasion, I wanted to share both why we should pray for Israel and the Jewish people, and how to have our hearts transformed so we can pray effectively. I’ll be drawing out three principles from Romans chapters 9-11.

God’s Heart Longs for the Jewish People to be Saved

There’s something special about your firstborn child. While parents love all their children, the firstborn holds a special, enduring place in their hearts. God the Father calls the nation of Israel His firstborn son. So, we can imagine His anguish of heart over their rejection of Him.

Think about it from God’s perspective. After thousands of years of preparation and prophecy, He sent His only begotten Son to be the Messianic King and savior of the nation of Israel, and through them, to bless all the nations of the earth. And yet, in their moment of visitation, the majority of the nation rejected the very Messiah they were longing to see. Thousands of years of preparation were seemingly squandered. Tragically, most missed their hour of visitation.

In Romans 9:1-5, the Apostle Paul shares his heart for unbelieving Jews, which reflects the heart of God.

A Prayerful Meditation with Olivia Helmore

New Wine and Oil Meditation

Receiving the Lord’s Will and His Word

Together, let’s take some time and make some space, slow down our hearts, and seek the Lord’s face, listening for the words and the works He would speak and show to us in the secret place where we commune with Him, face to face, spirit to Spirit, in the garden of our hearts.

This is the Lord’s will for us. His desire is for you and me to know Him for ourselves, on a personal level, more and more, day by day. It is also His will and desire that as a family, the people who live in Him, we would know, among us, the comm-unity that the Father and the Son shared with one another from before the foundations of the world.

The church is the chosen building of the Lord’s own hand. We are the temple of His own building! We are many temples, each of us being a temple the Lord has chosen to dwell in. We are also, together, one building, one body.

We’re going to read together 1 Corinthians 3, then pray.

Let’s keep in mind that the Lord has chosen us to become one with Him, both on a personal level, and as a people, the family of Christ. This means we belong to Him, and we belong to one another. His purposes for us are higher and better than we could imagine. He has a glorious purpose for each one, and for His church, and we glorify Him by following His will for us on a personal level, and as a church. We discover this will by reading His Word. As we seek to know Him, and ask for His help, His Holy Spirit guides us into the truth of His Word.

Our spirits live as He revives us. Being born again into Christ is also being born again into the family of God. There is nothing we can do to revive our own spirits, but He gives us the gift of faith to ask for His help. If you or I boast at all in ourselves, let us boast in our weakness, that He may reveal His all-sufficient strength and grace through us. Boasting in our weakness does not mean we continue to sin or excuse it in ourselves or others, but we allow Him to train us to return our weakness to Him more and more, moment by moment.

This is the lifestyle of seeking His face, His will, His Word, for us on a personal level and as His body the church, that He’s given us as a gift to walk in. He wants us to come to Him, ask Him, and receive our daily bread from Him. We don’t live on physical food alone, but every breath spoken from the mouth of God, and this goes for us as individuals and as a family that belongs to Him.

He’s called us by His name. This was His choice, and He also provides for those He calls and adopts into His family. It’s so important that we know the abundance that He has for us, even amid our troubles, so then we can preach His kingdom from a place of being nourished and knowing we are cared for, ourselves. He didn’t leave us as orphan, but He’s given us the Spirit of adoption, by which we call out to Him: “Abba, Father!”

We need to believe that He will provide for the needs of our body and our heart, our spirit. He doesn’t want us to remain depending on ourselves only, and He doesn’t want us to believe that we need to survive alone. The kingdom He has preached to us by His Word, by His people, by His Spirit, is one in which He shares His very presence, His very nature, with us, with you and me, and with us all as the family of God. And it’s up to us to receive that for ourselves and receive that as a church… receive the unity that the Father and the Son experienced together before the foundations of the world.

If we would ask Him to do this work in us on a personal level and community level, He will do this work. But we need to seek His face for ourselves, and we need to do the Word that He shows us on a personal level in His Word and by His Spirit. Because we have a holy inheritance. It’s not given lightly and didn’t come for free on Jesus Yeshua’s part. But He gladly receives us unto Himself. And I pray that He will reveal to you the magnificence of the hope of the grace that has called you to share in Him and in the inheritance of the family of God. We are His inheritance, you are His inheritance, and He is our inheritance.

There is a place of belonging for everyone at the Father’s table, if we will receive His grace. Some of us are unaware of how much He longs to provide for us day by day. Some of us have been unwilling to humble ourselves before Him. Let’s ask Him to help us humble ourselves, and help us believe in His will for us, to provide for us day by day and never leave us lonely.

Let’s read now.

1 Corinthians 3

The Church and Its Leaders

Brothers and sisters, I could not address you as people who live by the Spirit but as people who are still worldly—mere infants in Christ. I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarrelling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere humans? For when one says, “I follow Paul,” and another, “I follow Apollos,” are you not mere human beings?

What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labour. For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.

10 By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care. 11 For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, 13 their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. 14 If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. 15 If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.

16 Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst? 17 If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person; for God’s temple is sacred, and you together are that temple.

18 Do not deceive yourselves. If any of you think you are wise by the standards of this age, you should become “fools” so that you may become wise. 19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written: “He catches the wise in their craftiness”; 20 and again, “The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise are futile.” 21 So then, no more boasting about human leaders! All things are yours, 22 whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, 23 and you are of Christ, and Christ is of God.

Lord Jesus Yeshua, thank You for reminding us of how You are the master builder and You have laid the foundation of our faith. Help us to build wisely, knowing that Your Word and Your will provide the structure for the building. Help us to make room in our hearts everyday in a way that we can receive what You have for us. Help us to turn to You and believe that as we seek Your face You will reveal Your face; You will reveal to us the purposes in Your heart that are for us and not against us.

Lord as we share Your Word with others, would You keep our hearts in a place of being nourished by Your love and the unity You have with the Father. Help us to believe this is for us to receive more and more, day by day, as individuals and as Your family.

Thank You that You have imparted to us Your very life. Help us not to take this lightly but treasure it and make room in our hearts for You to share more so we may know You face to face, spirit to Spirit.

Lord help us not to be tempted by the need to be in first place or above anyone else. Help us to return to You with the habits of our flesh and believe that You have so much of a better way we can barely imagine.

Thank You for sharing the glory of Your unity with the Father with me and with Your church. Help us to steward ourselves to walk worthy of our inheritance in You. And help us to minister to others from a nourished place of being rooted and grounded in the revelation of Your will, and Your Word, Your love for us in our hearts.

Help us to shine the light of Your love from Your place in our hearts and our spirits. May You be in first place and may we trust You that You long to give us our daily bread. Thank You Lord that we belong to You as Your family, and You haven’t left us alone. Thank You for the comfort of Your presence and help us to heed Your presence. Help us to wait on You. Help us to believe that You are with us. And help us to walk worthy of the words You share every day.

We bless ourselves in Your Name Jesus Yesha.

Amen.

 

 Prayer from the Scriptures: Desiring a United Heart Sensitive to God.

Dear Lord Jesus we Pray for fresh revelation of your Holiness and to receive your desire to purge and purify our hearts with your Holy Spirit breakthrough.

David poured out his heart in worship to God in the midst of his pain of abandonment as well as under threat from his enemies. Forgiveness unlocks Bitterness in the Heart/ Jesus is the key to this Forgiveness. He unlocks as we speak His words in Love in Faith. We thank you you that you are Awakening us to the reality of the Holiness of God.

Thankyou Lord you allow circumstances to be orchestrated where our Heart circumcision takes place through Your Holy Spirit and divine mercy and we thank you that you are our faithful Father and the author and finisher of our Faith – mercy of God Rom 2:29

Ways of the Lord of Humility & Trembling at the Truth of God’s Word Isa 66:1-3

Psalm 12

Help, Lord, for no one is faithful anymore; those who are loyal have vanished from the human race.
Everyone lies to their neighbour; they flatter with their lips but harbor deception in their hearts.

May the Lord silence all flattering lips and every boastful tongue—
those who say, By our tongues we will prevail; our own lips will defend us—who is lord over us?”

“Because the poor are plundered and the needy groan, I will now arise,” says the Lord.
    “I will protect them from those who malign them.”
And the words of the Lord are flawless, like silver purified in a crucible, like gold] refined seven times.

You, Lord, will keep the needy safe and will protect us forever from the wicked,
who freely strut about when what is vile is honoured by the human race.

 

Promised Faithfulness to the Lord

A Psalm of David.

1I will sing of mercy and justice;
To You, O Lord, I will sing praises.
2I will behave wisely in a perfect way.
Oh, when will You come to me?
I will walk within my house with a perfect heart.
3I will set nothing wicked before my eyes;
I hate the work of those who fall away;
It shall not cling to me.
4A perverse heart shall depart from me;
I will not know wickedness.
5Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor,
Him I will destroy;
The one who has a haughty look and a proud heart,
Him I will not endure.
6My eyes shall be on the faithful of the land,
That they may dwell with me;
He who walks in a perfect way,
He shall serve me.
7He who works deceit shall not dwell within my house;
He who tells lies shall not continue in my presence.
8Early I will destroy all the wicked of the land,
That I may cut off all the evildoers from the city of the Lord.

LORD, GIVE US UNDIVIDED HEARTS (Psalm 86:11)

Integrity is derived from “integer” (a whole number as opposed to a fraction) and speaks of the quality of being undivided.

O, to be men and women of integrity, lights shining in the midst of the darkness in such a way that the world might see our undivided hearts and this would bring glory to our Father Who is in heaven.
(Mt 5:16-note, cf Php 2:15-note).

A great prayer to pray (daily) would be David’s words…

Teach me Your way, O LORD; I will walk in Your truth.UNITE MY HEART to fear Your Name.“(Ps 86:11-note)

The NIV has “Give me an UNDIVIDED HEART.”

Pastor Ray Pritchard paraphrases Ps 86:11bPut me together, Lord, because right now my life is scattered in a thousand directions!” (from The Undivided Heart)

An UNDIVIDED HEART, O Lord, Is what we need each day, For we are prone to compromise And wander from Your way. -D De Haan

The men of the tribe of Zebulon “helped David with an UNDIVIDED HEART” (literally “without a double heart” = undivided loyalty) (1Chr 12:33-note) They were “all in,” of one heart, all the time, nothing held back. (Jer 32:39)

Spurgeon commenting on Ps 86:11-note said “Having taught me ONE WAY, give me ONE HEART to walk therein, for too often I feel ‘a heart and a heart’

(In Ps 12:2-note “double heart” in Hebrew literally = “a heart and a heart”), two natures contending, two principles struggling for sovereignty

(Gal 5:17-note). Our minds are apt to be divided between a variety of objects, like trickling streamlets which waste their force in a hundred rivulets. Our great desire should be to have all our life floods poured into one channel and to have that channel directed towards the Lord Alone.

A man of DIVIDED HEART is weak (cf James 1:6-8-note), the man of one object is the man. God Who created the bands of our nature can draw them together, tighten, strengthen, and fasten them, and so braced and inwardly knit by His uniting grace, we shall be powerful for good, but not otherwise. To fear God is both the beginning, the growth, and the maturity of wisdom

(Pr 9:10-note, Job 28:28-note), therefore should we be undividedly given up to it, heart, and soul (cf Mk 12:29-31-Spurgeon’s sermon).”Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love; Here’s my heart, O take and seal it, Seal it for Thy courts above”

May we all be motivated and enabled by the Spirit (Php 2:13NLT-note) to imitate men like Paul (1Cor 11:1-note, Heb 6:11-12-note) who said “this ONE THING I DO. forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Php 3:13-14-note)

And remember that “the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.” (2Chr 16:9-Spurgeon’s sermon)

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. ” (Matthew 5:8-note)
In Mt 5:8-note the Greek word for pure is katharos which describes “a heart that is pure in motive and which exhibits single mindedness, undivided devotion and spiritual integrity.

The idea is “This one thing I do” (as Paul said in Php 3:13 [note]). So although, “pure in heart” includes the ideas of moral purity or freedom from sensuality, that is not the primary idea in the word katharos. Pure (katharos) has to do with attitudes, integrity, and singleness of heart as opposed to duplicity and double mindedness (cf Jas 4:8-note).

Thus, one might paraphrase Jesus’ words in this beatitude in Matthew 5:8 as…”I desire a heart that is unmixed in its devotion and motivation.” 

SPIRITUAL “TUNNEL VISION”

The word undivided means not divided, separated, or broken into parts, not mixed with other feelings or intentions. The idea in Matthew 5:8-note is that it is a heart that is concentrated on or devoted completely to one object, specifically the true and living eternal God not the idols of this fallen, temporal world.

We ask for this Lord, in Jesus Name.

Misunderstood

from: Wild At Heart

Even Jesus endured assault — not the open accusation that he had a wicked heart, but the more subtle kind, the seemingly “innocent” Arrows that come through “misunderstanding.”

After this, Jesus went around in Galilee, purposely staying away from Judea because the Jews there were waiting to take his life. But when the Jewish Feast of Tabernacles was near, Jesus’ brothers said to him, “You ought to leave here and go to Judea, so that your disciples may see the miracles you do. No one who wants to become a public figure acts in secret. Since you are doing these things, show yourself to the world.” For even his own brothers did not believe in him. (John 7:1-5)

I think we can relate to that. Did your family believe in you? Or did they believe in the person they wanted you to be? Did they even notice your heart at all? Have they been thrilled in your choices, or has their disappointment made it clear that you just aren’t what you’re supposed to be? At another point in his ministry, Jesus’ family shows up to collect him. “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to see you” (Luke 8:19). They think he’s lost it, and they’ve come to bring him home, poor man. Misunderstanding is damaging, more insidious because we don’t identify it as an attack on the heart. How subtly it comes, sowing doubt and discouragement where there should have been validation and support. There must be something wrong with us.

How To Prepare For Spiritual Battle

“Yes, and all those who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.”
2 Timothy 3:12

Will persecution stop you from sharing Jesus? God watches over his Word to protect it and He is not going to let persecution get in the way of His purpose in your life. You will have the victory. God will give you the strength to withstand it.

Bernard shares in the video above, that his life had been very dark with loss of identity and post traumatic stress disorder. His depression seemed overwhelming but God gave him the victory.

The devil doesn’t want people to become Christians because that is a loss of glory to him. The tactics of the enemy are sneaky: outright lying, demolishing your reputation, to make you feel isolated, active bullying, unrighteous laws or use of law unrighteously, physical attacks, false Christians in the church and false teaching.

The enemy plays on one’s thoughts. But the trial of your faith works patience.

Ima Odutola  from:  Light and Grace Ministries 

Divine Life Works Mightily in me

Anchor Scripture:

Jerimiah 33:3

Call to Me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things, fenced in and hidden, which you do not know (do not distinguish and recognize, have knowledge of and understand).

 

Ps Jeff’s Special Today: “Critical of others instead of Encouraging others” 

Today’s issue is critical of others instead of encouraging. Once you and I are full of the Holy Spirit we can be like Joses, so encouraging of others that the apostles renamed him ” Barnabus,” which is translated “son of encouragement.” (Acts 4:36,37). He was a true giver of physical things as well as God’s love. A path forward is given us in Ephesians 4: 29-32:Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” And also in Ephesians 4:3 we are taught to avoid the easy way of criticism and instead to follow His Way, to encourage unity:  Endeavor [go the extra mile; really work at ] to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Being candid with yourself and the Holy Spirit, is there any remnant of your old critical spirit still spewing out on others? Is your tongue loose or under control, governed by the Holy Spirit? Is there any old vow you made in this area that now needs to be removed? Do you think this is only applicable to the disciples 2,000 or 3,000 years ago? Do you have any residue of a residue of this issue for such a time as this? Was it connected to your upbringing as a child? Was it a family pattern in any way?

God bless you as you seek His Holy Spirit Wisdom and Comfort on this issue. May you go forward on His path, “perfecting holiness in the fear of God.” (2 Corinthians 7:1).

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Bible Verse of the Day

But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.